My new "cubice"

Well, today I finally got an office, but it isn't really an office. It is more of a cube. Well, actually it is an office with 2 cubes in it. So, I finally get an office and I have to share it with someone else. It is better than a cube, but not quite as nice as an office. Therefore I have deemed it the 'cubice' (cube + office).

In my office, an office is reserved for those members who have been promoted to 'Senior Consultant'. I was promoted to Senior Consultant a year ago, but never received an office. I just recently changed to a new project and, simultaneously, the entire office was being renovated, so everyone is changing locales. Over the weekend, everyone moved from wherever they were sitting to a new location. So, I received a 'cubice'. At first I was a little frustrated that I wasn't receiving an office when all of the other Senior Consultants were. Then I realized that I am the least 'senior' Senior Consultant on my project. Although I was promoted to Senior Consultant at the same time as many of the others, I have been working here for 5 years and all of the other Senior Consultants have been with the company at least 6 years. Also, with regard to the new project, I am the new kid on the block (please, no jokes about NKOTB-cause if you know what NKOTB is, then you are in no position to mock me), so I am also the least 'senior' person on the project.

So, yes, the grass is greener in the real offices, but I am content with what I have been dealt. I could be one of the 175 people in a cube or one of the 50 people in offices, but instead I get to be one of the very few select people in a 'cubice'.

How does killing a guy in a frozen pond make people want to buy a Chevrolet or watch the Olympics?

Have you seen this commercial? You know the one where the three guys have painted 'U' 'S' 'A' on their chest and are at the Winter Olympics cheering on the USA Olympic team. Then, the 'S' guy walks out onto a frozen pond as he is cheering and falls through the ice. The 'U' and the 'A' then use their Chevrolet SUV to pull him out of the pond. They then wonder if they should take their friend to the hoospital because he is frozen stiff with his hands straight up in the air, but they decide they still need an 'S'. So, they strap their friend on the top of their Chevrolet SUV and go to another Winter Olympic event. At the next event the guys are cheering on another event next to some attractive girls with the 'S' guy still frozen. The girls ask what the deal is with their frozen friend and say "he's kinda cute". The guys then strap their friend on top of their Chevrolet SUV again and follow the girls (who are also driving a Chevrolet SUV) to another Olympic event. The voice over tells you that Chevrolet is a proud sponsor of the Winter Olympics that will be on NBC.

So, how does killing a guy in a frozen pond make people want to buy a Chevrolet or watch the Olympics? Now, I appreciate comedy as much as the next guy, but I just am having a hard time finding the comedic appeal of this commercial. I just don't find any humor in this. I believe that I have that immature sense of humor that begins forming as a 6th grade boy and doesn't fully develop until your senior year in college. However, despite that frat boy sense of humor, I just don't even crack a smile while watching this commercial. I am honestly confused about the approach the advertisers are taking in this commercial. I just don't get it.

Can someone explain this to me?

-Cornholio (see, I have an immature "Beavis and Butthead" sense of humor)

PS- I searched diligently for this commercial on the internet and could not find it. If anyone knows a URL that has this commercial, please let me know.

Conan O'Brien vs Tarja Halonen

Is Finland laughing at Conan O'Brien?

So, do you think Conan looks like Finnish Presidential Candidate Tarja Halonen?

I have a theory: Conan isn't just poking fun at her, but that Conan IS her and that he is poking fun with fake campaign ads so that she (he) will actually win and then be successful in his plot to take over the world.

What do you think?

Actually sounds like something Conan might do.

For me to poop on,
-Triumph

"The most powerful booster in college sports"

So, I called out Ryan's alma mater because one of their wealthiest alumni members is supporting another school (see 'This one is for you, Ryan'). I guess what goes around comes around. Today, the cover story on ESPN.com is a story about how Bobby Lowder is "the most powerful booster in college sports." It is not the cover story on the College Football page of ESPN.com, it is the cover story on the main page of ESPN.com. That makes me soooooo proud to be an Auburn Tiger (note my sarcasm).

Anyways, here is a link to the article: A Tiger of a trustee

War Damn Eagle,

-Coach Dye

This one is for your, Ryan...

Riding the Trojan Horse

Story on ESPN.com about the head of Movie Gallery (and a Mizzou grad) who donates all of his money to Troy University and helps them become D1 so that they can embarrass his Alma Mater on ESPN Thursday night in 2004.

Why doesn’t he give his money to Mizzou?

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmm

War Damn Eagle,
-Robert "Cadillac" Hay, Jr.

The Book of Daniel

So I just finished watching NBC's newest drama, The Book of Daniel. In case you didn't see it or haven't heard about it, the show centers around an Episcopal Priest named Daniel and his family. Of course with clergy being the 'family career' in my family, I was interested to watch this show.

So there is Father Daniel, who is a pain-killer popping Priest. He's wife is very fond of the martinis. They live in a very nice home that we learn is a family home of hers. Daniel's father is the Bishop and Daniel's mother is suffering from Alzheimer. Daniel's father is also having an affair with another female Bishop who works with Daniel. Daniel's brother-in-law is a thief and his sister in law has been having an affair with a woman whom is suspected of helping to kill her husband.

And we haven't even started on the children yet...
The oldest son is gay. The daughter is selling drugs to support her animation habits. And the other son is an adopted chinese boy who is having sex with the most influential man in town's daughter.

Oh yeah, and then there is the Jesus figure. Probably the only character that I really liked. He was a very laid back Jesus with a sense of humor.

So, I am not sure what I think of this show yet. On the one hand it has the potential to show that clergy are just people like everyone else. But, on the other hand it seems to be playing up all of the vices of humans and almost making the church and clergy look very bad. I think I need to see a few more episodes before I form a complete opinion. Like I said, I like the Jesus figure and I liked the interactions the main character had with the Jesus figure. But I am not sure those few moments outweigh the negative picture that is being painted of the church.

The jury is still out.

What do you think?

-PK Hay

Thanks, Pat

Robertson suggests God smote Sharon

Thanks Pat for being the voice of Christians!

I wish someone would put one of Sharon's sweaty socks in Pat's mouth and then use those 700 clubs to beat some sense into him.

Peace
-Robert

Disclaimer- Please don't read this as me in support of Palestine or Israel or in support of physically beating someone. Read this as me thinking that a public Christian figure shouldn't say such stupid things and give the rest of us Christians a bad name. I don't really want to beat him with 700 clubs, but I would enjoy sticking a sweaty sock in his mouth...

What the hell is Scientology all about???

So, Moose (aka Governor Bryson) made us watch this episode of South Park about Scientology. The Episode is called "Trapped in the Closet" and it features such famous Scientology members as Tom Cruise and John Travolta. I think the funniest parts of the episode include the scenes where 'Closet Expert Analyst', R. Kelly "pulls out his gun". You will have to watch it to understand.

Anyways, the episode essentially was calling out Scientology for the fraud and cult that it is. Before watching the episode, I didn't know much about Scientology, and I still don't. However, I spent the better part of my day today (yes, at work - I am very bored) researching it online. I have read websites controlled by the CoS (I learned that stands for Church of Scientology) and I have read websites that are controlled by critics and 'defectors' of the CoS.

My opinion... It is a cult that brainwashes people into believing mythical science fiction. They use 'fixed donations' to provide quack 'services' to rid your body of 'thetans' (alien souls that are in everybody that were put on earth by Xena 75 million years ago). The whole farce is a well-designed scam to make some people very, very, very rich. I am ashamed to live in a country that allows this cult to hide behind the protection of a 'religious institution' for tax fraud. I am ashamed that we allow this brain-washing organization to exist and to prey on people for their money. I wish there was some way to stop it.

Some quick resources for your own research:

• You can download the South Park "Trapped in the Closet" episode here *This is a 174 MB download that will take a long time to download* (If the video doesn't show up after you have downloaded it, then you will need the XviD codec to play it which you can download here)
• The official CoS website is here
• Operation Clambake can be found here (a website dedicated to telling the 'Truth' about CoS)
• A 1991 article from Time magazine about CoS can be found here
• "The Truth About Scientology" website here and its sister-site "Scientology Lies" here

So, what do you think?

You're my boy, Blue!

Some memorable quotes:

Mitch: Who's this guy?
Beanie: Oh, that's Blue. An old navy vet who hangs around my store a lot. Don't worry. He's legit.
Mitch: He looks like he's one hundred years old and he wants to pledge?
Beanie: You kidding me? Old man river can't shut up about it.


Frank: *Spanish*! Do you trust that we have provided you with enough rope so that your cinder block will fall safely to the ground?
Spanish: Y-Yes sir.
Frank: Blue, do you trust that I do not want to see you die here tonight?
Blue: Yes, sir.
Frank: Blue, you're my boy!
Blue: Thank you, sir.


[two girls are topless in the pool of KY jelly]
Frank: Are you sure you're ok with this, Blue?
Blue: Just ring the fucking bell, you pansy.


Frank: I see Blue, He look's glorious.


Nicole: I heard one of your pledges died. Is that true?
Mitch: Well, yes but Blue was really old. And I feel pretty confident when we get the autopsy back it'll say natural causes.


Blue, thanks for the laughs. We will miss you!!!!!

View the story here.

Love,
-Frank

PS- You're my boy, Blue!