My wonderful wife Morgan mailed me a copy of a sermon by Anna Carter Florence that she thought I might want to read. Last night I could not fall asleep (which is part of my nightly ritual of tossing and turning as I think about and ponder what it is that God wants me to do with my life) so I read the sermon. Tonight I am pondering the same thing so I am going to blog about the sermon.
The sermon is on the text where the woman pours perfume on Jesus. Anna Carter goes on to describe that the perfume, that was kept in a little jar, was very expensive perfume that, in those days, would be used for when the lady died. It was her little jar of death perfume. She smashed her burial perfume jar and poured the perfume on Jesus in an act of selflessness and an act of faith. With her act she was giving everything to Jesus, even the perfume that was to be used at her burial that she had been keeping in a little jar.
Anna Carter continues by challenging us to think about the things we put into jars. The thoughts and the burdens we put into jars because we can't deal with them. The feelings we ignore and the dreams we brush off that we put in jars on shelves that are slowly killing us. The little jars that cause us to toss and turn at night. She charges us to take those little jars of death and pulverize them and offer their contents to God.
I wonder what is in my little jar. Is it my job? Is it my desire to do something more meaningful than IT Consulting for a profitable company? Is it my desire to see people happy in the fellowship of God? What is it that I am putting in the jar? I prayed to God last night for him to give me the strength to smash that jar even though I am not sure what is in it, but I am positive that I have that jar and I am sure that it is what has been causing me so much pain.
And the Quest continues...
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
It's Tuesday but it feels like Monday
I find myself walking to meetings real slow and lethargic. I sit at my computer and try to think of things to surf on the internet instead of doing my work. I go to meetings and sit there and think about why the meeting is useless. I have work to do, but I know I can do it later and still receive fantastic reviews, so I procrastinate. Especially after last week when I worked my ass off. I have become apathetic about my job and I just don't care that I don't care.
'Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays' (except it is Tuesday and I will probably feel like this again tomorrow since I dread my job)
'Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays' (except it is Tuesday and I will probably feel like this again tomorrow since I dread my job)
Monday, May 30, 2005
My relaxing weekend
Well, this weekend was supposed to be a weekend for me to relax and get my mind right so I could focus on the Quest. So, on Friday night I was on my way home from work and my brother called and wanted to know if he could come visit for the weekend. He was supposed to go to Memphis to see some friends, but that fell through and he said he really needed to get out of the house (my parent's house - he still lives there). Being the wonderful big brother that I am, I of course told him to come on over.
It ended up being a great weekend and I still got accomplished some of the things I wanted to get accomplished. I cut the grass and got my haircut on Saturday morning. Then we went and played golf on Saturday afternoon. Found a great rate on LMTT.com, so if you are ever looking for a last minute tee time, check it out. We went to dinner at Taco Mac and then watched Star Wars Episode II.
Sunday, we were planning on going to the Braves game, but it was raining so we decided to go to the Georgia Force arena football game. We hopped on Marta and were planning on buying $19 tickets at the ticket office, but a scalper offered us VIP tickets for $25. Being the suckers that we are, we bought 'em. They ended up being Suite Tickets. So we sat in a suite. It was very nice.
Let me pause my story while I get on my soapbox for a moment. So, we rode the elevator up to the entrance of the Phillips arena and there are security guards checking people as they go into the game. They have baskets and are asking everyone to empty their pockets into the baskets. Not thinking anything of it, I grab my cell phone, keys, and wallet and throw them in the basket. The security guard quickly tells me that I can't go in with 'that'. What? My keychain Swiss Army Knife? My 1.5 inch knife? My keychain accessory that I use for the toothpick more than I use it for anything because the blade on the knife is too small to even cut a straggling string off my pants? I can't take 'that' in? Have we gotten so scared as a society that we think terrorists are going to take over the Arena Football game with a 1.5 inch Swiss Army Knife? So my brother and I had to hide our keychain knives in the pinestraw near the entrance so that we didn't have to throw them away to go into the arena. Stupid!!!
Back to my weekend, we had a great time at the football game. It is quite an experience. There was never a moment of calmness. When the game wasn't being played there was either a fan competition, the dance team dancing in sexy clothes (very nice), fireworks, or army rangers rappeling from the ceiling throwing t-shirts to the fans. They really have something great going on down there. Need to remember to go to some more games next season.
Another funny moment occured at the game. During a time out, the big screen did 'kiss cam' where the cameras look around the arena for couples and the couples kiss while they are on the Big Screen. Well, after several couples had done this, the screen showed an old couple. And wouldn't you know, it was Jimmy Scarr and his wife. They of course saw themselves on the screen, but just didn't get the concept of having to kiss each other, so they sat there like old people looking like silly old people. The fans even started chanting 'kiss kiss kiss' and they still didn't get it. The man sitting behind them even tapped Jimmy on the shoulder and told him they were supposed to kiss and they still didn't get it. Of all places to see Jimmy Scarr. He hasn't changed a bit.
After the game, Kevin wanted to see Star Wars Episode III so that is what we did. It was even better the second time and I caught some things this time that I didn't the first time. Kevin got up this morning and left around lunch time. I messed with my computer (put Kevin's old hard drive in it so he can recover his data the next time he comes) and rearranged all of my entertainment system stuff.
So, it wasn't the relaxing weekend I was expecting, but it ended up being a great weekend. Kevin and I had a great time together, and when you get a few beers in us we will even talk about stuff more important than Auburn Football (although there isn't much stuff more important than that). I am very lucky to have a brother that I can hang out with. I hope that Kevin and I will get to be better friends the next couple of years while he is here for seminary. There is a level to Kevin that I see every now and then that I hope he can learn to share more often and with everyone, not just a few people. He really truly cares for people, he just has a hard time showing it. He still has his moments of stubborness, but they are fewer than before.
Well, maybe I can relax next weekend. Or maybe someone else will come visit and make me have a good time.
It ended up being a great weekend and I still got accomplished some of the things I wanted to get accomplished. I cut the grass and got my haircut on Saturday morning. Then we went and played golf on Saturday afternoon. Found a great rate on LMTT.com, so if you are ever looking for a last minute tee time, check it out. We went to dinner at Taco Mac and then watched Star Wars Episode II.
Sunday, we were planning on going to the Braves game, but it was raining so we decided to go to the Georgia Force arena football game. We hopped on Marta and were planning on buying $19 tickets at the ticket office, but a scalper offered us VIP tickets for $25. Being the suckers that we are, we bought 'em. They ended up being Suite Tickets. So we sat in a suite. It was very nice.
Let me pause my story while I get on my soapbox for a moment. So, we rode the elevator up to the entrance of the Phillips arena and there are security guards checking people as they go into the game. They have baskets and are asking everyone to empty their pockets into the baskets. Not thinking anything of it, I grab my cell phone, keys, and wallet and throw them in the basket. The security guard quickly tells me that I can't go in with 'that'. What? My keychain Swiss Army Knife? My 1.5 inch knife? My keychain accessory that I use for the toothpick more than I use it for anything because the blade on the knife is too small to even cut a straggling string off my pants? I can't take 'that' in? Have we gotten so scared as a society that we think terrorists are going to take over the Arena Football game with a 1.5 inch Swiss Army Knife? So my brother and I had to hide our keychain knives in the pinestraw near the entrance so that we didn't have to throw them away to go into the arena. Stupid!!!
Back to my weekend, we had a great time at the football game. It is quite an experience. There was never a moment of calmness. When the game wasn't being played there was either a fan competition, the dance team dancing in sexy clothes (very nice), fireworks, or army rangers rappeling from the ceiling throwing t-shirts to the fans. They really have something great going on down there. Need to remember to go to some more games next season.
Another funny moment occured at the game. During a time out, the big screen did 'kiss cam' where the cameras look around the arena for couples and the couples kiss while they are on the Big Screen. Well, after several couples had done this, the screen showed an old couple. And wouldn't you know, it was Jimmy Scarr and his wife. They of course saw themselves on the screen, but just didn't get the concept of having to kiss each other, so they sat there like old people looking like silly old people. The fans even started chanting 'kiss kiss kiss' and they still didn't get it. The man sitting behind them even tapped Jimmy on the shoulder and told him they were supposed to kiss and they still didn't get it. Of all places to see Jimmy Scarr. He hasn't changed a bit.
After the game, Kevin wanted to see Star Wars Episode III so that is what we did. It was even better the second time and I caught some things this time that I didn't the first time. Kevin got up this morning and left around lunch time. I messed with my computer (put Kevin's old hard drive in it so he can recover his data the next time he comes) and rearranged all of my entertainment system stuff.
So, it wasn't the relaxing weekend I was expecting, but it ended up being a great weekend. Kevin and I had a great time together, and when you get a few beers in us we will even talk about stuff more important than Auburn Football (although there isn't much stuff more important than that). I am very lucky to have a brother that I can hang out with. I hope that Kevin and I will get to be better friends the next couple of years while he is here for seminary. There is a level to Kevin that I see every now and then that I hope he can learn to share more often and with everyone, not just a few people. He really truly cares for people, he just has a hard time showing it. He still has his moments of stubborness, but they are fewer than before.
Well, maybe I can relax next weekend. Or maybe someone else will come visit and make me have a good time.
Friday, May 27, 2005
Introductions
Since I am such a big tech nerd, I am sure it comes as a surprise to you that I have never 'blogged' before. So, I am still trying to figure out how this stuff works. I guess I write things here and you read them. That leads me to my first question; who is my audience? Who are 'you'? Who am I writing to? I guess it doesn't matter. I am not doing this for you. I am doing this for me.
So, you may ask, what is the Quest all about? Well, this is my Quest to determine what my purpose in life is. See, for a long time now, I have been struggling with what it is that I am supposed to do with my life. I am currently in a good job, that pays me well, that gives me lots of vacation and flexibility, and furthermore, I am good at it. So now you are thinking, what does this guy have to complain about? I am finally starting to realize that there is more to life than a good job. I want to do something more fulfiling with my life. Further, I believe that God has a plan for me and that God has been trying to tell me what that plan is and I have been ignoring it or not listening. So, this Quest is about me trying to sort through my thoughts and maybe, hopefully, I will hear whatever it is that God is trying to tell me.
This is my Quest. I hope you enjoy reading and following along. I just hope and pray that I will hear God soon. For the longest time I thought maybe God wasn't speaking to me. I am now realizing that I have been too busy to listen.
'Open my ears'
So, you may ask, what is the Quest all about? Well, this is my Quest to determine what my purpose in life is. See, for a long time now, I have been struggling with what it is that I am supposed to do with my life. I am currently in a good job, that pays me well, that gives me lots of vacation and flexibility, and furthermore, I am good at it. So now you are thinking, what does this guy have to complain about? I am finally starting to realize that there is more to life than a good job. I want to do something more fulfiling with my life. Further, I believe that God has a plan for me and that God has been trying to tell me what that plan is and I have been ignoring it or not listening. So, this Quest is about me trying to sort through my thoughts and maybe, hopefully, I will hear whatever it is that God is trying to tell me.
This is my Quest. I hope you enjoy reading and following along. I just hope and pray that I will hear God soon. For the longest time I thought maybe God wasn't speaking to me. I am now realizing that I have been too busy to listen.
'Open my ears'
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