5 years??? I need some wine!!!!!

According to the engraving on the inside of my wedding band, March 31st is my wedding anniversary. Upon further investigation, THIS March 31st (which is Friday) is my 5 YEAR wedding anniversary. It is hard to believe that I have been married for 5 years. And even harder to believe that in June of this year it will be 10 years since I started dating Morgan. Of course, we had our hiccups along the way, but essentially we have been committed from day one!

So, what does a couple do to celebrate 5 years of marital bliss? Well, it was a hard decision for us because we are a single income relationship currently due to Morgan's "Call to Seminary". Morgan really wanted a trip and I gave in pretty easily. We started out thinking we would do one of those 'all-inclusive' deals at some exotic beach location. After many hours of searching the entire internet, we decided that was a lot of money to just sit on the beach. So, we started to think of other places. DC, Skiing out west, NYC, Chicago... Finally, we settled on San Francisco and Napa Valley.

Fortunately for us, Morgan's spring break is next week which makes it the perfect time to celebrate our 5 years with a trip to San Francisco and Napa Valley. Here are the details:

We board an Airtran flight on Saturday morning and arrive in San Francisco around Noon (Pacific Time). We are then spending Saturday night and Sunday night and most of the day Monday in San Francisco. On Monday, we will drive our rental car up to Napa and spend Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday nights in Napa. Saturday we fly back to the ATL.

And so here is the point of the post. All we know about San Francisco is that Rice-a-Roni is the city's treat and that it is the home place of Uncle Jesse, Uncle Joey, Danny, DJ, Stephanie, and Michelle (Full House). Further, all we know about Napa is that they make wine there. So, if you have tips or suggestions about what we should do, please leave them in the comments.

"The San Francisco Treat",

-Uncle Joey

PS- The ONLY thing we have already booked is the Alcatraz tour. I am really looking forward to seeing the secret passage-way that Nick Cage and Sean Connery sneaked in.
PSS- I will of course have pictures and posts from our trip (hopefully during the trip).

Finally, a sabbath day!

Well, the last few weeks have been crazy around the Hay house. Before this past weekend, our last 4 weekends were:

• Thurs Feb 16 - Sun Feb 19: Morgan at Montreat Planning Team meetings while I helped her dad do his 'honey do' list at their new home in Black Mountain. Nothing like doing chores at someone else's house.
• Fri Feb 24 - Sun Feb 26: Morgan in Plymouth, NC with her 3 best friends from highschool while I was in Highlands, NC with all my buddies for a double-bachelor party. Details of both trips to be withheld to protect the innocent (and the guilty).
• Fri Mar 4 - Sun Mar 6: Morgan and I co-hosted a wedding shower for a friend (one of the bachelors from the party) in Birmingham. We also went to church at SHPC on Sunday with my family (see here for post about the sermon).
• Fri Mar 10 - Sun Mar 12: We went on a confirmation retreat with the youth from St Lukes Pres. Actually, Morgan helped lead the retreat and I was the "Cabana Boby" (cook, maid, driver, and anything else that they needed done). Then, when we got back on Saturday, Morgan and I spent a couple of hours in the yard. Then, on Sunday while Morgan was at church, I spent another 8 hours in the yard. I hate yard work more than anything!!!!!!

This past week wasn't much better. Morgan drove to Birmingham on Monday to meet with the CPM (Committee for Preparation of Ministry) for her annual review. Afterwards she drove back and had to work on papers (I think she had 3 due last week). By the way, her review went great!!!! Tuesday night and Wednesday nights were spent cleaning the house and getting food ready for the Dinner Party at our house on Thursday. My dad (one of the Presbytery Execs) and the new Presbytery Exec were coming over to Columbia for a tour and to eat dinner with all of the candidates and inquirers from PSL (Presbytery of Sheppards and Lapsley), so of course our house got volunteered to host that shindig. So, we hosted that dinner party Thursday night and then the Columbia St Patty's day party was also at our house on Friday night. This was a fun party complete with Green Keg Beer. Thank goodness the Juniors know how to party, because the other two classes (the middlers and the seniors) were not well represented and those that did attend don't know how to party as well as the Juniors.

So, that gets us to Saturday. Morgan and I finally had a day to sleep in (not sure if I was really sleeping or if I was passed out, but either way I didn't get up until noon). We spent a couple of hours cleaning up our house. We have decided that keg parties are easier to cleanup after than BYOB parties because there is much less trash. After the house was respectable, I got on the couch and watched March Madness while Morgan went to the mall. We cooked a nice dinner together and watched a movie. Sunday was a typical minister's family Sunday. We went to church, went to lunch, went home and rested, and then went back to church for youth group.

I know that we are supposed to rest on the 7th day and it only took Morgan and I almost 5 weeks to find time to rest. Thank God for rest!

The Luther Burger

Luther Burger: "a bacon-cheeseburger served on a Krispy Kreme doughnut bun"

To be a little more specific, they take the doughnut and slice it down the middle like it is a bagel and then they put the glazed side of each half on the grill and grill it for a quick moment. When they put the doughnut bun on the burger, the middle (non-glazed side) is facing out so that when you hold the burger you are holding it with the middle piece of the doughnut. They serve it with your choice of fries, tots, onion rings, or hush puppies.

I had mine with a side of tots AND fries. I mean, if you are going to have a coronary, might as well enjoy it.

So, yes, I went to Mulligan's with my friend Stewart last night and we both had a Luther Burger. It has an interesting taste. Amazinginly, it tastes exactly like you would guess; like a hamburger with a sweet bun. It is like having your entree and your dessert at the same time.

Stewart and I also had a couple of pitchers of Stella beer (which was also a first experience for me). After the Luther Burger and Stella beer, we headed over to The Corner Pub to join the CTS team as they competed in Team Trivia. To be honest, I can't remember if we won or not. I remember that we were in first place before the final question, but I don't remember what the final outcome was. Needless to say, Stewart and I had a real good time!!!!

For more information regarding my obsession with weird fried foods, please see these links:

• The Hamdog
• Taco Town

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son."
-FatDrunkStupid

Why do we confess?

I am no theologian (I leave that up to my dad, my wife, and my brother), but I did enjoy the sermon I heard yesterday. Morgan and I were in Birmingham this weekend to help host a wedding shower for a good friend of mine. We, of course, stayed with my parents and went to church with them on Sunday morning at South Highland Presbyterian Church. SHPC had a guest speaker named Wil Willimon who is apparently a well respected theologian.

Anyways, he preached about why we confess our sins. He referred to some churches who preach how 'good' people are and that their services are full of reminders of how 'good' the church goers are and the service is meant to build them up and make them feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He then wondered why Presbyterians (and many other reformed churches) start out our service with such a downer like openly confessing that we are sinners. He said that that type of openly admitting that we are not good is not part of our human nature. That we as humans always want to appear confident and in control and not focus on the bad things that we do, but to instead to focus on the good things that we do. So, why is it that we always confess our sins and admit how bad we have been.

As I said, I am no theologian, so I am sure that I cannot relay his sentiments exactly, but the jist of his sermon was that we admit our sins because we are sinners. We have been sinners "since Genesis, Chapter 3" as he said. But that the good news is that despite our sins, God still loves us and forgives us. God sent Jesus to be with the un-Godly and to save us. So, we confess our sins so that we can humbly go before God as sinners and then accept the divine Grace of Jesus Christ as our Saviour.

I am not good at putting these things together or always getting the exact right point, but I do believe that what he was preaching is exactly what I believe. I KNOW that I am a sinner and I KNOW that because of God's grace and through the love of Jesus Christ, that I am saved.

Thanks be to God!!!!!

Ma Bell back together again

As most of you are aware, I work for a large IT consulting firm. In our ATL and BHAM offices, we basically have 1 client; BellSouth. We have a few other small clients in these two offices, but the majority of the 350+ employees in these two offices work on BellSouth projects. Further, BellSouth is the single largest US based client my company has. So, you can understand why the acquistion of BellSouth by AT&T could cause concern around my office. See this article: AT&T agrees to buy BellSouth for $67 billion

What does this mean to me? Well, I am not sure quite yet. Most of you know that I haven't exactly been happy in my job and so this may be God working in a really weird way to help motivate me to determine what it is that I should be doing with my life (Warren and Steve, please remember that what I say here stays here and shouldn't go to our bosses). But would God really cause a $67 billion merger just to make me go do something more with my life? Probably not, but God may work through this to help kick me in the butt to go do something better.

I have a feeling that there will be an office-wide meeting (imagine the scene from Office Space when the 'Consultants' show up) this week to discuss what impacts this has to my company's business and bottom line. I will keep you updated on the company's solutions and my solutions (or I guess I should say, God's solutions for me).

"Mr. Watson, come here, I want you!"
-Pa Bell

Sorry to have been idle for so long...

Hey all you Quest-fanatics,

I apologize for the lack of posts in the past few weeks. My last post was right before I went to Montreat for a long weekend. Then I got back and the internet at my office went down (yes, that is right, at the Global IT Consulting Firm). It has only taken them over a week to get it fixed. I guess I could have posted from home, but by the time I get home from work, I don't really want to sit in front of a computer anymore. So, I am just now getting back into the swing of reading blogs and surfing the net. Hopefully, after I catch up on my surfing, I will have something worthy of posting about. Till then, peace out!

-Seacrist, out!

Who do I look like?

I found a link to My Heritage on another blog. On My Heritage you can upload a picture and they will use their face recognition software to search a database of 3,200 celebrities to tell you which celebrity you look like. So, here is the results of my test:

This is the picture I uploaded



My celebrity matches

My favorite match! - Matt Damon


Ok, a super-baseball star! - Babe Ruth


Um, a liberal movie producer? - Michael Moore


WTF? - Martina Navratilova


Morgan's celebrity matches

I love the OC! - Rachel Bilson


Me likey! - Eva Longoria


Well, not a huge fan, but I wouldn't kick her out of bed? - Demi Moore


Well, Morgan is a liberal, female, seminary student. - Hillary Clinton

Well, I guess I was wrong...

Well, my friend Warren felt it necessary to point out to me that my suggestion about Conan and Tarja (see "Conan O'Brien vs Tarja Halonen") being the same person was proven wrong today. See this article for more information: Finnish President Meets With Conan O'Brien

I guess everyone is wrong ONCE in their life. Don't expect it to happen again.

For me to poop on,
-Triumph

How many Weight Watchers points is a Taco Town taco?

If you haven't seen the "Taco Town" Saturday Night Live commercial parody of the fast-food industry, then please follow this link and check it out: "Taco Town"

If you know me, then you know these two things are true:

1. I think this commercial is freaking hilarious.
2. I would sooooooo eat that taco if I were given the chance.

For those of you who don't know me, let me address these two facts separately so that you may have some insight into the sick and deranged mind of me.

First, I like to laugh (see my profile). I appreciate all types of humor, particularly smart humor and 6th grade humor (most of the time, these two types of humor are mutually exclusive, but there are a few instances where these two types of humor come together). This commercial exemplifies both types of humor. It is funny cause it is like something a 6th grader would come up with, but it is also funny 'cause it is true'. It in general just makes me laugh out-loud every time I see it. The subtle sarcasm used by the announcer and the immature facial expressions used by the actors all get to me. It is like watching Will Ferrell. The guy just makes me laugh by looking at him. He doesn't have to say anything, he just has to make a funny look and I laugh. And it isn't that fake laugh I make when my boss makes a stupid joke and I laugh cause he is my boss.

If you are a new reader at 'The Quest', then I will point you towards my post titled 'The Hamdog', which recounts my trip to eat a "hot dog wrapped by a beef patty that's deep fried, covered with chili, cheese and onions and served on a hoagie bun. Oh yeah, it's also topped with a fried egg and two fistfuls of fries".

I love Mexican food, so any kind of mexican food sounds yummy to me. Further, I love the Chalupas that Taco Bell makes. Why, you ask? Because they are FRIED!!!! The PCUSA boycotted Yum! Foods (parent company of Taco Bell) and did I participate? Hell no! Why? Because I love fried mexican food!!!!

And I am a sucker for the marketing scams that is the "New combination..." My wife makes fun of me every time a Pizza Hut commercial comes on that is advertising the newest weird pizza because she knows the next time we order pizza, I will fall for it. We have tried all of them; the pizza with cheese in the crust, the pizza that breaks into bread sticks, the pizza that is cooked square, the pizza with dipping sauces, the pizza with extra cheese, the pizza with a taco cooked into the crust (ok, they haven't done that last one, but if they do, I will order it).

And finally, why would I eat that Taco Town taco? Because I am on Weight Watchers and anything that fattening looks REALLY GOOD to me right now!!!!

Peace and bacon grease,

-Fatty McGee

My new "cubice"

Well, today I finally got an office, but it isn't really an office. It is more of a cube. Well, actually it is an office with 2 cubes in it. So, I finally get an office and I have to share it with someone else. It is better than a cube, but not quite as nice as an office. Therefore I have deemed it the 'cubice' (cube + office).

In my office, an office is reserved for those members who have been promoted to 'Senior Consultant'. I was promoted to Senior Consultant a year ago, but never received an office. I just recently changed to a new project and, simultaneously, the entire office was being renovated, so everyone is changing locales. Over the weekend, everyone moved from wherever they were sitting to a new location. So, I received a 'cubice'. At first I was a little frustrated that I wasn't receiving an office when all of the other Senior Consultants were. Then I realized that I am the least 'senior' Senior Consultant on my project. Although I was promoted to Senior Consultant at the same time as many of the others, I have been working here for 5 years and all of the other Senior Consultants have been with the company at least 6 years. Also, with regard to the new project, I am the new kid on the block (please, no jokes about NKOTB-cause if you know what NKOTB is, then you are in no position to mock me), so I am also the least 'senior' person on the project.

So, yes, the grass is greener in the real offices, but I am content with what I have been dealt. I could be one of the 175 people in a cube or one of the 50 people in offices, but instead I get to be one of the very few select people in a 'cubice'.

How does killing a guy in a frozen pond make people want to buy a Chevrolet or watch the Olympics?

Have you seen this commercial? You know the one where the three guys have painted 'U' 'S' 'A' on their chest and are at the Winter Olympics cheering on the USA Olympic team. Then, the 'S' guy walks out onto a frozen pond as he is cheering and falls through the ice. The 'U' and the 'A' then use their Chevrolet SUV to pull him out of the pond. They then wonder if they should take their friend to the hoospital because he is frozen stiff with his hands straight up in the air, but they decide they still need an 'S'. So, they strap their friend on the top of their Chevrolet SUV and go to another Winter Olympic event. At the next event the guys are cheering on another event next to some attractive girls with the 'S' guy still frozen. The girls ask what the deal is with their frozen friend and say "he's kinda cute". The guys then strap their friend on top of their Chevrolet SUV again and follow the girls (who are also driving a Chevrolet SUV) to another Olympic event. The voice over tells you that Chevrolet is a proud sponsor of the Winter Olympics that will be on NBC.

So, how does killing a guy in a frozen pond make people want to buy a Chevrolet or watch the Olympics? Now, I appreciate comedy as much as the next guy, but I just am having a hard time finding the comedic appeal of this commercial. I just don't find any humor in this. I believe that I have that immature sense of humor that begins forming as a 6th grade boy and doesn't fully develop until your senior year in college. However, despite that frat boy sense of humor, I just don't even crack a smile while watching this commercial. I am honestly confused about the approach the advertisers are taking in this commercial. I just don't get it.

Can someone explain this to me?

-Cornholio (see, I have an immature "Beavis and Butthead" sense of humor)

PS- I searched diligently for this commercial on the internet and could not find it. If anyone knows a URL that has this commercial, please let me know.

Conan O'Brien vs Tarja Halonen

Is Finland laughing at Conan O'Brien?

So, do you think Conan looks like Finnish Presidential Candidate Tarja Halonen?

I have a theory: Conan isn't just poking fun at her, but that Conan IS her and that he is poking fun with fake campaign ads so that she (he) will actually win and then be successful in his plot to take over the world.

What do you think?

Actually sounds like something Conan might do.

For me to poop on,
-Triumph

"The most powerful booster in college sports"

So, I called out Ryan's alma mater because one of their wealthiest alumni members is supporting another school (see 'This one is for you, Ryan'). I guess what goes around comes around. Today, the cover story on ESPN.com is a story about how Bobby Lowder is "the most powerful booster in college sports." It is not the cover story on the College Football page of ESPN.com, it is the cover story on the main page of ESPN.com. That makes me soooooo proud to be an Auburn Tiger (note my sarcasm).

Anyways, here is a link to the article: A Tiger of a trustee

War Damn Eagle,

-Coach Dye

This one is for your, Ryan...

Riding the Trojan Horse

Story on ESPN.com about the head of Movie Gallery (and a Mizzou grad) who donates all of his money to Troy University and helps them become D1 so that they can embarrass his Alma Mater on ESPN Thursday night in 2004.

Why doesn’t he give his money to Mizzou?

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmmm

War Damn Eagle,
-Robert "Cadillac" Hay, Jr.

The Book of Daniel

So I just finished watching NBC's newest drama, The Book of Daniel. In case you didn't see it or haven't heard about it, the show centers around an Episcopal Priest named Daniel and his family. Of course with clergy being the 'family career' in my family, I was interested to watch this show.

So there is Father Daniel, who is a pain-killer popping Priest. He's wife is very fond of the martinis. They live in a very nice home that we learn is a family home of hers. Daniel's father is the Bishop and Daniel's mother is suffering from Alzheimer. Daniel's father is also having an affair with another female Bishop who works with Daniel. Daniel's brother-in-law is a thief and his sister in law has been having an affair with a woman whom is suspected of helping to kill her husband.

And we haven't even started on the children yet...
The oldest son is gay. The daughter is selling drugs to support her animation habits. And the other son is an adopted chinese boy who is having sex with the most influential man in town's daughter.

Oh yeah, and then there is the Jesus figure. Probably the only character that I really liked. He was a very laid back Jesus with a sense of humor.

So, I am not sure what I think of this show yet. On the one hand it has the potential to show that clergy are just people like everyone else. But, on the other hand it seems to be playing up all of the vices of humans and almost making the church and clergy look very bad. I think I need to see a few more episodes before I form a complete opinion. Like I said, I like the Jesus figure and I liked the interactions the main character had with the Jesus figure. But I am not sure those few moments outweigh the negative picture that is being painted of the church.

The jury is still out.

What do you think?

-PK Hay

Thanks, Pat

Robertson suggests God smote Sharon

Thanks Pat for being the voice of Christians!

I wish someone would put one of Sharon's sweaty socks in Pat's mouth and then use those 700 clubs to beat some sense into him.

Peace
-Robert

Disclaimer- Please don't read this as me in support of Palestine or Israel or in support of physically beating someone. Read this as me thinking that a public Christian figure shouldn't say such stupid things and give the rest of us Christians a bad name. I don't really want to beat him with 700 clubs, but I would enjoy sticking a sweaty sock in his mouth...

What the hell is Scientology all about???

So, Moose (aka Governor Bryson) made us watch this episode of South Park about Scientology. The Episode is called "Trapped in the Closet" and it features such famous Scientology members as Tom Cruise and John Travolta. I think the funniest parts of the episode include the scenes where 'Closet Expert Analyst', R. Kelly "pulls out his gun". You will have to watch it to understand.

Anyways, the episode essentially was calling out Scientology for the fraud and cult that it is. Before watching the episode, I didn't know much about Scientology, and I still don't. However, I spent the better part of my day today (yes, at work - I am very bored) researching it online. I have read websites controlled by the CoS (I learned that stands for Church of Scientology) and I have read websites that are controlled by critics and 'defectors' of the CoS.

My opinion... It is a cult that brainwashes people into believing mythical science fiction. They use 'fixed donations' to provide quack 'services' to rid your body of 'thetans' (alien souls that are in everybody that were put on earth by Xena 75 million years ago). The whole farce is a well-designed scam to make some people very, very, very rich. I am ashamed to live in a country that allows this cult to hide behind the protection of a 'religious institution' for tax fraud. I am ashamed that we allow this brain-washing organization to exist and to prey on people for their money. I wish there was some way to stop it.

Some quick resources for your own research:

• You can download the South Park "Trapped in the Closet" episode here *This is a 174 MB download that will take a long time to download* (If the video doesn't show up after you have downloaded it, then you will need the XviD codec to play it which you can download here)
• The official CoS website is here
• Operation Clambake can be found here (a website dedicated to telling the 'Truth' about CoS)
• A 1991 article from Time magazine about CoS can be found here
• "The Truth About Scientology" website here and its sister-site "Scientology Lies" here

So, what do you think?

You're my boy, Blue!

Some memorable quotes:

Mitch: Who's this guy?
Beanie: Oh, that's Blue. An old navy vet who hangs around my store a lot. Don't worry. He's legit.
Mitch: He looks like he's one hundred years old and he wants to pledge?
Beanie: You kidding me? Old man river can't shut up about it.


Frank: *Spanish*! Do you trust that we have provided you with enough rope so that your cinder block will fall safely to the ground?
Spanish: Y-Yes sir.
Frank: Blue, do you trust that I do not want to see you die here tonight?
Blue: Yes, sir.
Frank: Blue, you're my boy!
Blue: Thank you, sir.


[two girls are topless in the pool of KY jelly]
Frank: Are you sure you're ok with this, Blue?
Blue: Just ring the fucking bell, you pansy.


Frank: I see Blue, He look's glorious.


Nicole: I heard one of your pledges died. Is that true?
Mitch: Well, yes but Blue was really old. And I feel pretty confident when we get the autopsy back it'll say natural causes.


Blue, thanks for the laughs. We will miss you!!!!!

View the story here.

Love,
-Frank

PS- You're my boy, Blue!

Outsourcing...

WorldNetDaily: Housing officials 'cancel' Christmas

WorldNetDaily: Housing officials 'cancel' Christmas

My friend Warren sent me this link saying that if he had a blog, he would blog about this. I can't believe that we live in the land of the free, but people are not allowed to celebrate their religious holidays because they live in government subsidized housing.

Land of the free, my ass
-Robert